A sea of indifference bobbed
upon waves of unknowing
where life would lead,
currents snatched with need
and hunger overflowing
’til life from all were robbed.
From depths goodness reaches
smoothing waves of worry
when life grows weary,
hands above guide clearly
without swells or hurry
but with love beseeches.
Tag: Writing
I Shouldn’t Have Blinked by L. M. Montes
Life crept steady when I was little,
speed took a seat for just a while,
days morphed into weeks morphed
into months morphed into years,
then looking back I wondered
where childhood skipped to,
time gazed back, threw me a wink,
then I realized I shouldn’t have blinked.
Without You… by L. M. Montes
I stood barefoot with toes sinking
in poufy grass. A small lake’s lapping
waves clapped ashore with swishing
language speaking freely. Hands placed
themselves upon my shoulders, moved
down my arms to my hands. In one swift
motion his arms squeezed, pulling me
inward. I sank into your muscular chest.
His lips touched my ear, and his voice
whispered a melodic tune of love. I turned
and took his cheeks in the palms of my
hands, gazed into his eyes, then we lifted off
the grass and floated. The air around us
lighted a lavender and blue veil then circled.
“Without you, my love, there is no love. You are
the love within my heart. I pray you stay for-
ever a part of life that’s mine from God above.”
Looking Back by L. M. Montes
While staring backwards
I walked forward,
searching future’s mind
yet awaiting what stood behind,
a pillar blocked my path
as I slammed into its wrath,
many a time this happened
and my head turned misshapen,
then a sign of truth
popped up from my youth,
One can’t move forward
if they keep looking back.
The Opposite Side of Adverb Usage
Adverbs aren’t always bad. There are times when they should be used. If they serve a purpose such as building upon the emotions of a character’s actions, then use them. BUT, be sure to use them sparingly.
Louise Harnby says it quite well (quoted below). You can go to her website here to read more.
“Adverbs, used well, can show motivation, indicate mood, and enrich our imagining of a scene.
I love books that tell it straight because every word pushes me forward. David Rosenfelt is a writer who never disappoints. His Andy Carpenter series features a tenacious lawyer with a dry wit.
The author’s prose is sharp as a knife. Does he use adverbs? Absolutely, though sparingly and they’re always purpose-filled.”
A link to Louise Harnby’s website will also be added on my Resources page.
Walk, March, Dream by L. M. Montes
Walk–
with strides anew,
saunter–
just me and you,
linger–
and smell the dew.
March–
as off to war,
halt–
watch eagles soar,
remember–
it lives within your core.
Dream–
and do not die,
hope–
and fly up high,
achieve–
with goals decry.
Adverbs and Your Writing
I have read quite a bit regarding the usage of adverbs when writing fiction. Most of what I’ve read says not to use them. Period. Yet, I still see adverbs in fiction. Can we catch them all. Hmm…maybe. I think the key is to go back through during your edits and look for those and those alone and nothing else. Yes, do an edit just for searching out adverbs in your writing. When you do your initial search for them, circle them, then go back through and rework the sentences they’re in so that they aren’t there at all.
What do adverbs do that are so bad? They make the writing sound amateurish and unprofessional, they take away from any real action going on, and they take away the show out of the “show don’t tell” rule. There are better ways to say/write something.
Example 1:
(with adverb) Jason stepped lightly across the room to surprise Jill.
(without adverb) Jason tiptoed across the room to surprise Jill.
Example 2:
(with adverbs) Max’s harshly spoken words undoubtedly jumpstarted angry thoughts within Jason’s own mind.
(without adverbs) Max spat his words out.
Jason glared back at him, as angry thoughts jumpstarted within in his own mind.
After reading each example, how does each sound to you? The sentence with the adverb doesn’t do much for the reader at all. Plus, the action that should be there isn’t because the adverb throws “water on it” so to speak. But, the examples without the adverb creates more feeling, action, and pictures within the reader and makes for a better reading experience. You may have to play around with the words and create more than one sentence when you move to fix it without the adverbs. That’s ok, as long as it sounds better. Hence, the “show don’t tell” rule.
Memories Collide by L. M. Montes
Thought pushes thought
as memories collide
and smash against the other,
where did time go
that created a pool of mind pictures
hither and yon,
at times a blank screen
of darkness rendering nothingness
invades the inner eye,
a time and time ago
the memories leapt with joy
experienced at the time,
now the splashing thoughts
spray the mind with misty sprinkles
plunging back-thought ‘hind the mind.
Time Flew by L. M. Montes
In a year,
time flew–
flowers sprouted,
and kissed the dew–
trees transformed,
collages glistened of every hue–
snowflakes danced,
nothing grew–
sprouts peeked,
all things new–
Unspoken by L. M. Montes
Portrayed within the eyes are words unspoken,
perhaps they are of joy or of one broken,
seek me from within to know the depth
of thought conveyed with facial breadth.
WRITE TIME AND AGAIN 