Posted in Editing

The Opposite Side of Adverb Usage

Adverbs aren’t always bad. There are times when they should be used. If they serve a purpose such as building upon the emotions of a character’s actions, then use them. BUT, be sure to use them sparingly.

Louise Harnby says it quite well (quoted below). You can go to her website here to read more.

“Adverbs, used well, can show motivation, indicate mood, and enrich our imagining of a scene.

I love books that tell it straight because every word pushes me forward. David Rosenfelt is a writer who never disappoints. His Andy Carpenter series features a tenacious lawyer with a dry wit.

The author’s prose is sharp as a knife. Does he use adverbs? Absolutely, though sparingly and they’re always purpose-filled.”

A link to Louise Harnby’s website will also be added on my Resources page.

Posted in Editing

Adverbs and Your Writing

I have read quite a bit regarding the usage of adverbs when writing fiction. Most of what I’ve read says not to use them. Period. Yet, I still see adverbs in fiction. Can we catch them all. Hmm…maybe. I think the key is to go back through during your edits and look for those and those alone and nothing else. Yes, do an edit just for searching out adverbs in your writing. When you do your initial search for them, circle them, then go back through and rework the sentences they’re in so that they aren’t there at all.

What do adverbs do that are so bad? They make the writing sound amateurish and unprofessional, they take away from any real action going on, and they take away the show out of the “show don’t tell” rule. There are better ways to say/write something.

Example 1:
(with adverb) Jason stepped lightly across the room to surprise Jill.
(without adverb) Jason tiptoed across the room to surprise Jill.

Example 2:
(with adverbs) Max’s harshly spoken words undoubtedly jumpstarted angry thoughts within Jason’s own mind.
(without adverbs) Max spat his words out.
Jason glared back at him, as angry thoughts jumpstarted within in his own mind.

After reading each example, how does each sound to you? The sentence with the adverb doesn’t do much for the reader at all. Plus, the action that should be there isn’t because the adverb throws “water on it” so to speak. But, the examples without the adverb creates more feeling, action, and pictures within the reader and makes for a better reading experience. You may have to play around with the words and create more than one sentence when you move to fix it without the adverbs. That’s ok, as long as it sounds better. Hence, the “show don’t tell” rule.

Posted in Editing

Adverbs

Those pesky adverbs can be a real bear. Lately I’ve read some great fiction. The story drew me in, the characters were memorable, the description was detailed without being to much. I loved it. But then throughout the experience there were stopping points. Yes, stopping points. What were these stopping points? They were ADVERBs. Turn an adverb into action. Note the difference below:

Example 1:
Ok
a. He walked quickly down the street, his footing unsure.

Better
b. He rushed down the street, his footing unsure.

Example 2:
Ok
a. John was painfully digging in his backpack for his wallet, when he didn’t feel it in his pocket.

Better
b. John plunged into his backpack for his wallet, when he didn’t feel it in his pocket.

As you can tell in both examples, b. is the better option. We see the actions better and their impact packs more of a punch.