Posted in Editing

Adverbs

Those pesky adverbs can be a real bear. Lately I’ve read some great fiction. The story drew me in, the characters were memorable, the description was detailed without being to much. I loved it. But then throughout the experience there were stopping points. Yes, stopping points. What were these stopping points? They were ADVERBs. Turn an adverb into action. Note the difference below:

Example 1:
Ok
a. He walked quickly down the street, his footing unsure.

Better
b. He rushed down the street, his footing unsure.

Example 2:
Ok
a. John was painfully digging in his backpack for his wallet, when he didn’t feel it in his pocket.

Better
b. John plunged into his backpack for his wallet, when he didn’t feel it in his pocket.

As you can tell in both examples, b. is the better option. We see the actions better and their impact packs more of a punch.

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