I have read quite a bit regarding the usage of adverbs when writing fiction. Most of what I’ve read says not to use them. Period. Yet, I still see adverbs in fiction. Can we catch them all. Hmm…maybe. I think the key is to go back through during your edits and look for those and those alone and nothing else. Yes, do an edit just for searching out adverbs in your writing. When you do your initial search for them, circle them, then go back through and rework the sentences they’re in so that they aren’t there at all.
What do adverbs do that are so bad? They make the writing sound amateurish and unprofessional, they take away from any real action going on, and they take away the show out of the “show don’t tell” rule. There are better ways to say/write something.
Example 1:
(with adverb) Jason stepped lightly across the room to surprise Jill.
(without adverb) Jason tiptoed across the room to surprise Jill.
Example 2:
(with adverbs) Max’s harshly spoken words undoubtedly jumpstarted angry thoughts within Jason’s own mind.
(without adverbs) Max spat his words out.
Jason glared back at him, as angry thoughts jumpstarted within in his own mind.
After reading each example, how does each sound to you? The sentence with the adverb doesn’t do much for the reader at all. Plus, the action that should be there isn’t because the adverb throws “water on it” so to speak. But, the examples without the adverb creates more feeling, action, and pictures within the reader and makes for a better reading experience. You may have to play around with the words and create more than one sentence when you move to fix it without the adverbs. That’s ok, as long as it sounds better. Hence, the “show don’t tell” rule.
Tag: Fiction
Adding Humor
It’s said that in fiction there must be a pet-the-dog moment. These are times within the story where the protagonist (main character), pets a dog (or other vulnerable creature). What this does is sympathizes your main character. At the same time, if the the pet-the-dog moment is done just right, it will add suspense to the scene or the story as a whole. I have done this with the books I’ve written/published. But…..
I like to also add some humor, kind of sprinkled here and there. What this does is show your MC has a sense of humor as well. In addition, it should also add to your scene (see example below the next paragraph).
Below is an example of humor from my new novel The Cross’s Key. My main character, Kyle Stevens, is trying to glean information from one of the other characters who is being rather difficult or evasive. He does a good job of getting what he wants, while creating humor for the reader at he same time.
Why did you not ask it that way before?”
“My other three brothers would have understood what I was asking,” Kyle spat out. “Now, answer my question. Unless you don’t know. If that’s the case, admit you’re ignorant and send me on my way.” The increase in irritation caused his abdomen to rumble. The result was a noise he hadn’t intended.
“Really, you chose now to pass wind?”
Realizing Jarron must be trying to get on his nerves, Kyle relaxed and chose not to play that game anymore. “Yes, I chose now to pass wind, and I’ll continue to do so unless you answer my question.” For a minute, no one spoke. Then, “I can do this all day,” responded Kyle with a cheesy grin.
Do you have to do this every time? No. Only when I feel the need for it. At the same time, I want my readers to get a chuckle/giggle while they’re reading. s
Book Deal
Starting today, March 9th and running through March 16th, the Kindle version of my new novel entitled The Cross’s Key is on sale for only $2.99. It’s marked down from $8.99. That’s a savings of 67%. Get your copy of it now before the price goes back up. The link to the book is in the book title above, below, and is also featured on the home screen on my blog.
Book 3
Recently I began writing my third book in my Time Series. The title is tentative, so I am not going to share it just yet. But what I wanted to write about was how exciting it can be to embark on a new project yet challenging at the same time. One might think an author would feel as though beginning to write a new novel is nothing new, that it’s commonplace. One might get used to it, and the newness of it wears off. That is all wrong. Each time I started to write a new book, I felt the exciting twist of wonderment as a new opportunity to create another story began to weave its web across the pages.
Granted, I have only published two books and one book of poems. But it doesn’t matter. Each one is different, so your brain isn’t getting tired of the same old thing every time. What I enjoy best is the new conflict and plot twists I will have fun creating and inserting into the story.
I have to admit though. Going into book 3 was slow going at first. I wrote the prologue and put it away. Then a couple days later I went back to write chapter 1. I wrote approximately 500 words of chapter 1, then put it away. A couple days later I wrote more. I have chapter 1 finished now, but I was still lacking something. I ended up making a list of things I needed for the story so I can move on with it, then I sat back for about a week or so and let those ideas work in my subconscious as I moved along with the rest of my life. I didn’t sit immobile and try to think of something. Doing that would have been way too boring, and it would have gotten me no where. But now I have it. As I went about my days, I would think about my story and what it needed, relaxed, let my imagination run rampant, thought about different ideas, etcetera.
Book 3 is now making its way across the pages of my manuscript with much more ease. If you find yourself stuck like this, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to come up with ideas. They will come to you. You just have to give yourself a break.
Feed Your Creativity
What do we need for nourishment? Food. When we eat food, we feel better. Our body feels sustained. It might also depend on what you eat, but that is neither here nor there. Actually, I’m eating as I write this article (Hahaha, no really). But how do we feed our creativity when we’re trying to think of material for writing a story? I’m not talking about writer’s block. I’m talking about putting some oomph into your story, something that stands out to readers. The answer to this question will vary from individual to individual because we are all different. Below are some ideas on things you can do to wake up your creative mind.
- Read books.
- Listen to music (I hear classical music is good for this).
- Do a craft of some sort.
- Put a jigsaw puzzle together. You’d be surprised how much this works.
- Create ideas with some one else. Hey, two heads are better than one.
- Take a drive somewhere that appeals to your senses.
- Look at beautiful photos and imagine yourself inside the picture. Use your senses and describe it.
- Take a stroll through a cemetery.
- Cook/bake something.
- Go to the beach.
Tag Lines
In a story in order to determine who is speaking a piece of dialogue, tag lines are used. Notice in the following example the last two lines don’t have a tag line. That’s because one is not always needed once it’s been established who is talking. Generally, a person will do the speaking every other line. So, in this example, it is assumed that Tia is then doing the speaking in line 3 and Sarah is doing the speaking in line 4. If a tag line is added every time someone speaks, the flow of the dialogue sounds odd. BUT, every now and then, throw in a tag line so that readers can keep track of who is speaking. There’s nothing more irritating than having to go back through a long piece of dialogue in order to keep track of who is doing the speaking.
Example: “I don’t like it one bit. It won’t work,” said Tia.
“Sure it will,” replied Sarah. “Trust me.”
“That’s the problem. None of your ideas ever work.”
“They do too.”
Please keep in mind that you don’t always have to use the word ‘said’ when creating a tag line. Here are some options in the list below. There are many many more than what is here. This is just a taste.
- replied Tia
- responded Tia
- stated Tia
- whispered Tia
- answered Tia
- demanded Jack
- claimed Susan
- asked Bill
- agreed Susan
- added Susan
- admitted Jack
- fumed Bill
- feared Sally
- giggled Jane
- indicated Jack
- joked Tia
- decided Tia
Excerpt from the Prologue
Here is an excerpt from the prologue of my new novel, The Cross’s Key
The Triplet Septfinitude bragged of mountainous peaks and plush grassy meadows. Trees with leaves of several hues of reds, yellows, and greens cascaded own each slope. Between each mountain rested deep blue and turquoise-colored lakes and streams. Living dwellings made of marble peeked out in various areas of the sides of each mountain. Small wooden bridges decorated with leafy vines connected each living dwelling from one to the next and all the way down to the grass below.
Paul and Susan Stevens looked on as their eight-month-old triplet boys lay on their blanket under the Fophawna tree. The Tantis Lake lay several yards away. A gentle breeze touched the furry bark of the tree just right, and the follicles billowed and shimmered. Susan got down on the blanket to play with her boys and moved into a sideways leaning position when the triplets touched each others hands haphazardly clapping them together. She chuckled as she watched. As they continued to do this, their hands became attached to each other. Then the three little bodies moved and melded together and giggled. The end result was one baby, not three. Susan’s mouth gaped open, and her vocal cords refused to work, rendering her silent. She was so horrified and so focused on the one baby that she didn’t see her husband on the blanket across from her trying to do what he could to make the one baby three again. All the while glancing over his shoulder several times to see if anyone else witnessed what just happened. They were alone.
“How do we get them apart?” said Susan now able to speak.
Paul didn’t respond as he poked and prodded the baby in front of him.
“Paul?””
“What!” he thrust out. “How in hell should I know? This is the first I’m seeing this myself.”
“You don’t have to be so…..” Susan said with a start. “I didn’t…..damn!”
“You knew there was a possibility this would happen. We both did.”
She opened her mouth to talk but thought better of it. He was right, but she put this possibility behind her never thinking it would happen to her babies. She didn’t want this, not for her children. This kind of ability was dangerous. She knew what it meant for their future and the future of the triplets if anyone found out.
“Paul, what are we going to do?”
“We’ll have to keep them apart as best we can. Then, when they get a little older, we can leave and go to Shir in the Natural Septfinitude.”
He was right.
*****
Fourteen years and Four Months Later
Shir’s early morning dew glistened across the lush grass as Ethan bent over the creek and whisked his fingers through his blond close-cropped curls. He gave himself one last look at his reflection in the still creek water then splashed the cool, wet liquid on his face a couple times and stood. He crossed his long sleeve shirted arm across his face to dry it then turned to face his triplet brothers.
“Why can’t we touch each other? You know, like pat each other on the back for a job well done or something. What’s all the fuss about?” asked Jace.
“Why? Do you need a pat on the back? Are you in need of a compliment? Well, job well done, Jace,” said Ethan with a voice dripping of sarcasm. “How are we supposed to know? We’re in the same situation as you.”
“You’re the oldest, Ethan. You should now,” said Mason with a chuckle. He knelt next to the creek, dunked his close-cropped, straight black hair in the cold water, shook his head several times, then whipped his head back, bringing with it a stream of water heading straight for Jace, who saw it in time and ducked. The splash landed on Ethan’s face.
Ethan gasped then took another swipe at his face to dry it. “I am the oldest by nine minutes,” replied Ethan. “And keep your water to yourself damn it. My being the oldest does not mean squat. Ask dad. Although, I doubt he would say anything. I tried asking once, and he blew me off.”
“Mom and dad never said anything to me either. I asked them once, too. Mom looked away and dad changed the subject. You know how he is. If he doesn’t want to tell you something, no amount of probing or coercion is going to get him to talk,” said Mason.
“So, let’s try it,” said Jace.
Ethan and Mason threw him a blank stare.
“What? It’s not like we’re going to blow up or something.”
“Dude,” said Ethan. “I don’t think we should go against mom’s and dad’s wishes.”
Mason smacked his tongue, then said, “Come on, he’s right. He is the youngest, so we can blame him if something goes wrong. Besides, they’ll never know.”
“Ok, fine,” said Ethan. “But not here in the open. Let’s go in the barn. We have chores to finish up anyways.”
The late July heat rendered the barn an oven of sorts. The three stood inside the main entrance looking around. One of thee horses in one of the distant stalls stamped his hoof and gave a low whinny.
Ethan spied his father’s small office on the far end and walked in that direction. “Come on.”
The three stood in the center of the room and looked at each other. Neither one wanted to go first. Finally, Mason gave Jace a quick poke. Nothing happened. Seeing this, Ethan and Jace did the same to Mason. Again, nothing happened. They started laughing and felt ridiculous. Then they slapped each other the way guys do.
“Damn,” said Ethan. “All this time we’ve been afraid to come in contact with one another. Again, I wonder what the big deal was?”
“He five bros,” said Mason as he put up both of his hands.
Ethan and Jace put up both of their hands. Now standing in a tiny circle, they all smacked each other’s hands at the same time. Then their bodies melded into one. Now they knew.
“What? Who? How? Oh God. What have we done?” asked the brothers who were now one person. What is this person’s name? My name? Our name? Damn! Who is this?” His voice didn’t sound like any one of the three brothers.
He turned to face the corner desk. A small 8″ x 10″ mirror hung on the wall above the section of desk on the right. He peered into it. A different person stared back. In a way he was a compilation of the three, yet different. He touched his mouth, then pulled the skin under his right eye down and let go. He ran his hands through his dark brown hair and exhaled.
“We need to tell dad. Wait, I’m talking to myself. Hey, you guys there?” Nobody answered back. “What’s my name, our name?” Again, no one answered. He didn’t know if he was one person or three.
A translucent green materialized around the frame of the mirror and intensified until it filled the room. He plucked the mirror off the wall and a certain oddness peered back at him….
(If you enjoyed this snippet and would like to continue reading more, follow the link to the book in the book’s title above. It is free on Kindle Unlimited. The Kindle version is $8.99 on Amazon).
Descriptive Words
Please note that some of the descriptive words in this table are found in more than one box. This is because they hold two different descriptive meanings.
Sometimes it’s nice to have many in one place rather than always resorting to look up single words at a time. When you are in the middle of writing a piece of fiction and you want a unique way to describe something, your mind can go blank. Here is a table to help you.
| Really Certainly Easily Genuinely Honestly Positively Precisely Truly Undoubtedly Unmistakably | Very Absolutely Acutely Decidedly Deeply Eminently Exceedingly Excessively Greatly Highly | Extremely Really Remarkably Seriously Significantly Singularly Supremely Terribly Terrifically Thoroughly | Normally Commonly Generally In general Mainly Most of the time Mostly Ordinarily Usually As a rule |
| Quickly Swiftly Rapidly Hurriedly Speedily Fast Quick Hastily Briskly At high speed | Seriously Passionately Earnestly Sincerely Vigorously Gravely All joking aside Cut the comedy Intently Resolutely | Kindly Genial Gentle Good-hearted Generous Humane Kind Mellow Merciful Pleasant | Finally Definitely Assuredly Once and for all Past regret Settled With conviction Determinately Beyond recall Lastly |
| Only Apart Individual Lone Matchless Once in a lifetime Sole Unaccompanied Unequaled Unique | Perfectly Altogether Completely Fully Quite Utterly Wholly Consummately Well Totally | Accidentally By chance Inadvertently Casually By accident Randomly Unconsciously Unintentionally Unexpectedly Unwittingly | Confused Bewildered Dazed Glassy-eyed Mixed up Not with it Addled Discombobulated Perplexed Puzzled |
Digging Deep
How often have you read a book with great mean hidden deep within its story? I truly believe anyone can find meaning in just about anything they read. We don’t always look for it though. Why? Because we are so engrossed with what is going on in the story that we aren’t focused on what we can learn from it. In these instances I think anything learned goes straight to our unconscious mind. Now, I’m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist or anything, but to me it’s only common sense.
As an author, I want my readers to gain meaning from what I write. As I mentioned above, not everyone will on the surface. This doesn’t mean we don’t create meaning in our stories. After all, the stories we write have to have some kind of meaning to them in order for there to be a story. Actually, we call it Theme. Finding a theme to center your story around can be daunting at times. Seriously, you can be sitting there in front of your computer wondering what theme to use. In the meantime your story is dying to be written.
The solution is simple. Just start writing your story. The theme will develop itself or will unfold in your mind, and you will have an “A-ha!” moment. This is how I write. I know that sounds backwards, but it works for me. Once you have your theme (a meaning your story centers around), put it down on paper. Yes, literally, write it down. Then go into more detail about it. For example, how can you develop your characters around your chosen theme? In which direction can you take your story now that you have your theme? Will your settings connect to it in any way? What about dialogue? How can you use your theme to increase tension?
Continue to ask yourself these questions. Then answer each of them. Again, do this on paper, not your computer. The act of writing helps it to stick in your brain better. At least it does for me. When you feel you’ve developed your theme enough, go back to your story and continue writing. All the while, you will be using what you wrote down about your theme in various parts of your story.
When I was half way finished with my second book, I realized I didn’t have a theme. As a result, it was becoming increasingly difficult to continue with the story. Then it dawned on me what the problem was. Lack of a theme. It didn’t take me long to figure out what it should be because I knew the direction I wanted my story to go. Plus I knew my main character well. All I had to do was go back and look at his character sketch. The answer was right there. It smacked me in the face, so to speak. Without that theme, the story fell flat.
Once I found it though, I had to go back to the beginning of what I had already written and insert story elements that developed that theme. It wasn’t hard to do. It was just time consuming. But I loved every minute.
Creating Empathy
On October 6, 2021 I wrote a blog post entitled Connections. Toward the end of the article I talked about a character, Mary, who was in a heated argument with her boyfriend as they were walking along. They had come to an area or clearing where the sunset could be seen much better in all of its glory. The boyfriend didn’t notice it. He could’ve cared less, but Mary noticed it and enjoyed it so much that for a moment she forgot about the argument. In this post I said that the sunset itself had nothing to do with the issue at hand, which was the argument. It was a random occurrence. But it had everything to do with creating empathy for the character of Mary. Add to this the dialogue between the two. Maybe Mary’s boyfriend said something nasty to her. The reader will be affected by these words to in that they will feel for her/have empathy for her. Mary may not be hurt by his words, but the reader will feel for her anyway. Well, most readers anyway.
Creating empathy for your characters is what draws your readers further into your story. Feelings, as we all know, have a strong connection to empathy. The two go hand in hand. As a side note, not everyone feels empathy, so don’t worry if your characters don’t connect with some readers. It’s just the nature of the beast.
Empathy, or even lack thereof, also gives incite into your character’s personality. In the above scenario we come to understand that Mary loves the beauty of sunsets even in the face of angst. It also hints towards her sensitivity. In addition, deep down she doesn’t let something like an argument with her boyfriend get to her. This indicates strength to get through it and not dwell on it. It could also indicate she feels as though the situation between her and her boyfriend will get resolved. The point being, in the ugly face of an argument, she saw beauty.
What drives the feelings within your characters? The situations they are thrust up against. Let’s say we have a character named Jack. He’s 31 years old, a successful corporate lawyer, and married with one child. He finds out his wife is cheating on him. Over the eight years they’ve been married, he has given his wife everything. He supports her in all that she enjoys doing. There isn’t anything that indicated to him that she had been unfaithful. Until he walks in on his wife and her lover when he comes home to surprise her (I know. This is a typical scenario, but it works for the point I’m trying to make). Already the reader feels empathy for him, and we haven’t gotten to how he is feeling yet. Although, his feelings will be interspersed throughout the scenario anyway.
Everything, the feelings and situations, even the words characters say to one another can create empathy within your readers. They will be pulled into your story. You want this. Of course, there are other ways besides creating empathy that can pull a reader in as well. Here again, that’s another blog post.
WRITE TIME AND AGAIN 