When creating fictional characters, so many details needed in building them exist. So, how do you choose what traits to give them externally and internally? Let’s focus on the internal, for now. In the reading a work of fiction for pleasure, part of what pulls me in is the depth of character of the protagonist. Their emotional response to the people and events going on around them, their thoughts, and their actions taken all play a role in achieving this.
Emotions:
Do: Tears skated down her cheeks. Don’t: She cried.
The goal here is to allow the reader to feel right along with the character. You want to pull them in. The first example does this.
Do: Sam backflipped, shot his arms into the air, and danced. Don’t: Sam was excited.
Actions:
Do: Gwen sat on the park bench and waited. Her hands rested either side of her knees, tapping out a nervous rhythm. She checked her watch, continued tapping, checked her watch again, and continued tapping. Why was he late?
Don’t: Gwen sat on the bench tapping her fingers
In the first example we get a clear picture that Gwen is nervous about her meeting with a man. In the second example we don’t know why she is there. Her actions don’t indicate whether she is nervous, relaxed, or happy.
Thoughts:
Do: My heart ached, watching him go. Would he be back? Would he find another? Would he get killed? I knew these long missions away from home was part of his job. One would think I’d be used to this by now. Maybe some do. But a nagging pit in the well of my stomach sat lying in wait each time he went on assignment.
Don’t: I didn’t like him leaving on assignment.
Clearly the first example paints a deeper picture of what she’s going through. Her situation carries quite a bit of emotional baggage and fear. It is conveyed to the reader. The second example tells us nothing.
Think of creating character depth this way:
How can I cast a line into the character and pull out a wealth of emotions, thoughts, and actions that will pull the reader in, make them care, and turn pages?